SAHM Feminist

shutting down....

2011-11-07T09:18:00.000+13:00

life has been getting on top of me a lot lately.... so I have made the decision to stop using my Facebook business page and to sew for enjoyment again, I have loved making babyslings for others but my health is still really crap so I need to cut back on something.

I know this is the right choice for me at the moment, my kids need me, and I need them, we have a hectic couple of months in front of us with the election, 2 birthdays, a trip to Chch for Ben's Graduation and all the Christmas stuff too, I also have 4 hospital appointments in the next month as well.

So for now I am putting Black Bow designs away, I will look at it again next year.

love D

health stuff happening

2011-09-20T12:20:00.000+12:00

I had the hospital ring today and I am to see the Gynaecology consultant on the 5th of October which is 2 weeks away, not too bad sooner would have been good though. I am to see Dr Hansen who was the person who did my ectopic pregnancy surgery, so at least I know who she is.

I got another phone call too today from ultrasound, they had a cancellation so I am getting my scan done at 3pm today, its a pain time because of school pick up but you don't say no to things like that. So things are moving well on the one front for my health.

I am still in a lot of pain though, I didn't get to sleep before 3am this morning and that was after being up 3 times for pain relief. Its getting hard as me being sick is impacting a lot on the kids and Ben.

Now just to get the colonoscopy etc done so we can see if there are any other issues that need dealt with health wise.

so yay for moving forward slowly, I am a bit freaked though as the Dr on Saturday mentioned that they may have to take one ovary or do a hysterectomy, it was a bit like "whoa hold on", thankfully we are finished having children but at 34 I feel a bit young to be making those decisions. Yes its only a uterus, I guess it seems rather final etc. I cannot really explain it, maybe if I was a bit older it wouldn't be such a big deal, or if I had yucky heavy periods etc but I don't so its feeling pretty radical at the moment.

I am hoping though that it wont come to that and that its just going to be routine laproscopy to remove the cyst.

D xx

health issues... finally ? getting somewhere

2011-09-18T20:54:00.000+12:00

after turning up to my GP 3 days in a row by Friday morning we had had enough so off to A and E I went. We were hoping to get a bit further ahead with finding out why I was in lots of pain... and yay we have started solving part of the puzzle.

Firstly the ovarian cyst on the right burst on Tuesday which is whats caused all the pain this week, but during an ultrasound scan they found a cyst on the left, that isn't filled with fluid and that needs to be removed very soon, so I am to get another scan and be seen by Gynae/Ob clinic too to organise surgery etc to get rid of this cyst.

We are no further ahead with the other part of the pain thing but at least we are getting somewhere with this part of it.

xx D

there is a Doctor in the house

2011-09-01T22:06:00.002+12:00

Benjamin did his PhD defense on Tuesday and passed.... He started it when Miss K was 12 months old, she turned 8 in July, wow its still sinking in that its all over, I am so proud of him, its been a huge task and its taken a toll at times on all of us, him included but its over and we can look towards the future and whatever that may bring.

So huge congrats my darling, its been a long road to here but we got there.

xx D

400 posts

2011-08-27T10:42:00.000+12:00

wow a milestone, I have been blogging for around 3 years now so 400 posts is pretty good going... so yay me, and I must try to not neglect my blog so much, but life has been full of more downs that ups lately so its made it hard to get moving let alone blog.

D

end of an era

2011-08-22T09:18:00.000+12:00

Yesterday I breastfeed Miss N for the last time, its been an awesome journey with her but I needed to stop for some health reasons. She is 21 months this week so I have done amazingly well, my aim was to get to 14 months and I definitely passed that one.

I am a bit sad about it, she is definitely my last child so its the end of nearly 9 years of being pregnant, breastfeeding, or ttc, man that sounds like ages when you say it like that, I have spent over 56 months breastfeeding, and over 3 years pregnant ( i think)...

farewell that chapter of our lives, and lets see what happens next

our week

2011-07-28T17:55:00.000+12:00

its school holidays but the last couple of days I have spend with Miss K in hospital, tonight she is home on a night pass but we are to report back at 8am for the dr's rounds. The reason for this trip is the continuing pain shes had since she was sick in Dunedin. Her temp was up on Tuesday so I took her to our Doctors, he decided she needed to be seen so he sent us to the Childrens assessment unit and they admitted her. We were hoping to get an ultrasound scan on Wednesday but the sonographer was sick, the same happened today, hence why we are at home for the night.

She needs the ultrasounds so they can determine if shes got a strcutural issue with her kidney or if its a pain issue from the infection she had. Either way we cannot move forward until they do this scan.

Fingers crossed that she gets it tomorrow

my big girl turned 8

2011-07-25T18:29:00.000+12:00

wow, it seems surreal in someways that she is 8, maybe its because I don't actually feel that much older than the 26 I was when I had her, which ever it is though shes 8 now lol.....

We had an awesome party for her, we took some friends of hers roller skating, it was great fun, and a perfect thing to do on a cold winter day, She had a great cake made by the awesome Deborah and her girls and cupcakes that I made too.... I actually stepped out of my comfort zone to do baking this year.

Miss K reckoned it was her best birthday yet....

still not well

2011-07-13T20:41:00.000+12:00

and I really am at a loss as to why. I spent last night in A&E again with abdominal and chest(lower) pain, they x rayed me and gave me painkillers, did blood tests and sent me home at 8am this morning with no answers at all to why its happening.

The closest clue we have is a small ovarian cyst on my right side, its about 3.8cm so not large by any standard but it is about the only thing that pinpoints any of my symptoms.

We are no further ahead with Miss K either, shes still got pain in her back, and has got clear blood and urine results, we are hoping that an ultrasound will help show whats going on, but its going to be 3-4 weeks at least before that happenes as shes not considered urgent to be seen.

We are just so over it all, even hubby is sick now with a sore throat, N has croup and O and L have colds. Yay that its school holidays for the next two weeks from Friday

neglected blog

2011-07-10T11:48:00.000+12:00

we have just been through a hugely rough period of time, it started in May with my Grandmas diagnosis of Lung Cancer and has gotten progressively worse since then.

In mid May Miss K got chicken pox, 2 weeks later our other three children got them too... this was pretty rough but we got through it.

Grandma passed away on the 16th of June, we had known all week that things were getting worse, she had had a minor stroke and heart attack and we were told to prepared to travel to Invercargill. To add to this the volcanic ash cloud meant that flying was out of the question so we were faced with a long road trip with 4 children.

WE had a gorgeous send off for Grandma, she had a yellow coffin which made us smile, both my bigger girls spoke at her funeral as did my parents and sister and I. We had Grandma at home for the days before her funeral, it made things more natural for all of us. Our children were able to see her, talk about death etc in a natural way instead of via funeral directors etc.

The day after her funeral K got sick, with a kidney infection, we ended up spending 3 nights with her in Dunedin Hospital which was good but another stress at an already stressful time, Shes still getting a lot of pain and we are not sure now that its kidney related at all. I spent last night at A&E with her only to find all her results clear, just pain.
We got home late on Tuesday the 28th after a long trip from Oamaru to Palmerston North in one day. by Saturday night we were back at A&E, this time though with me sick, we thought I have appendicitis but we now are not sure at all whats going on. I only got home on Friday after a week in hospital.

So that's our 6 weeks of nasty/sad/stressful times. I am so glad that we are over this and that I have an amazingly supportive husband and family

sad news.

2011-05-24T21:57:00.000+12:00

not quite sure how to even write about this but I will try, My Grandma has just been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, I am not really able to explain how I am feeling, but in someways its good that she has a diagnosis as it means that she will get good care at hospice or at home and my aunty who lives with her will have good support too...

I am also trying to cope with my big girls reactions to it too which I am finding really hard, this is their first experience of illness and death and its hard on them too....

love D

got something I have wanted

2011-05-14T11:46:00.000+12:00

for so so so long.. yep since I was 6th form I have wanted some 1460 doc marten boots, back then I wanted black, but now I have moved on from there and instead have got shiny pink tartan ones, omg I am in love.

My darling husband and children got them for me for my birthday and they arrived yesterday, 10 days all up from the States is pretty damn good... we got them from Amazon.com because they were $150 cheaper than buying them from a shop here in NZ. Anyway I love them lots and am very happy, now I have to keep my end of the bargain and get rid of some of my excess shoes and clothing from my wardrobe, it was due for a sort out so its not necessarily a bad thing.

love D

34 today

2011-05-04T16:05:00.000+12:00

wow so this is what the midis thirties is like hmm... ok, seems fine so far, only one grey hair to account for so far, a few wrinkles, but hey they add character, a few extra rolls around the middle, babies and eating crap do that...some slightly saggy boobs, but a good bra does wonders... so over all not to bad so far.

My delightful husband and children made me pikelets with whipped cream and jam for breakfast and coffee and I didn't even have to get out of bed, yahoo... they are so fantastic, I love them so much, our two big girls organised me a Swamp City Roller Rats t shirt, it was so cool they asked me at skating if I liked it and then they talked to the right person and got one for me, aren't they just awesome.

I have had a lovely day, out for brunch, so quiet time, visitors, phone calls, lots of messages on Facebook, pretty good really.

love D

breastfeeding causes breast implants.. WTF?

2011-05-02T17:12:00.000+12:00

there is a terribly written opinion piece in the NZ Herald today, in which a mother bags all of us who choose to breast feed. Its a bloody offensive piece in so many ways, she says that breastfeeding is why women who are unhappy with their saggy boobs have to get implants... wtf, that's insane, choosing to formula feed so you don't get saggy boobs seems rather selfish, I have bottle fed, and I have breastfed, the boobs were getting saggy before I started feeding, loosing weight, gaining weight are bigger factors for saggy boobs that breastfeeding.

The rest of the article was just as bad, sleeping your baby on its back is not to be done because of flat heads? wow so the aesthetic of babies head shape is more important than the risk of SIDS, but she justifies this statement by saying shes upper class and it won't happen to her baby...

I was totally gobsmacked by the arrogance of this woman, shes so totally wrong on so many counts and saying that she knows best because shes rich just takes the cake. Personally I will keep getting my advice on parenting from WHO, Plunket, Health professionals etc, they do know what they are talking about.

and then there is this part

"Now I understand that for many parents, especially where education levels are low and daily life so tough and frazzled, the notion of a book to record details of the infant's every sleep seems indulgent and precious. And we've all read about methamphetamine-fuelled households filled with multiple 'lifestyle beneficiaries' whose only success is to fail to supply the necessities of life to those tiny babies unfortunate enough to live with them. Obviously sterilising bottles and correctly preparing formula would be beyond many of these people - as would the art of muslin-wrapping. So it's quite understandable that official guidelines should serve as a safety net for the offspring of our most disenfranchised parents, and as an ethical society we wouldn't want it any other way."

totally condescending and not necessary at all, I found the whole article patronising, it belittled the work that Mums do, and it made her come across as a prize bitch who was so selfish that she didn't even try breastfeeding cos she didn't want to have to get implants. I have many friends who bottle feed their children, they do it because for many reasons breastfeeding just didn't work for them. Not one of them did it because of concern about saggy boobs, did she have an elective c section because she was concerned about a saggy vagina? I mean pushing a baby out is surely going to stuff you vagina and make sex less pleasurable because you aren't tight anymore.... And yes I am now being bitchy and judgemental too, (C sections are not nice, and are horrible to recover from and nothing to be joked at either.)

Where do people get off on judging choices that we make? I am educated, and I used that education to make the best choices I can for my children, but I don't offend nearly every Mother I know by making statements like the ones in that article.

project 2011

2011-04-29T11:52:00.000+12:00

I have been a bit slack on this, but heres a rough round up of my last couple of weeks

made some orders, and been sewing bits and pieces
survived the school holidays
had an awesome easter egg hunt
caught up with friends
kept skating :)
had lovely family time

Easter

2011-04-24T10:09:00.000+12:00

its Easter Sunday and we have just had a big egg hunt,

Miss N has certainly enjoyed it and she worked out what she was up to pretty quickly... eggs=yummy, anyway the photos speak for themselves...

new skates

2011-04-22T14:57:00.000+12:00

I ordered some skates about 3 weeks ago and they arrived yesterday, I was like a wee kid at Christmas, I have got some Riedell Vixens, with red flat out radar wheels and red laces. I was so excited that I went out to the rink for a skate last night on them and I am in love.

They are lighter than the hire ones, and I can actually turn in them, I need to relearn how to stop etc though as they are looser in the trucks so they move nicer but will take a wee bit for me to get use to them.

I have had awesome service from Trudy at onewoman eight wheels and she came out to drop them off to me and met me at the rink to tune them up a bit too... shes awesome.

My skates are possibly a bit much for me at the moment but I decided it was better to get the best I could afford so that I am not having to look at buying new ones in 8 months time because I have improved etc.

love D

dark feelings snuck up on me

2011-04-18T16:37:00.000+12:00

I have just burst into tears because N wanted yet another feed... stupid really... crying over a bloody feed..... I am sitting here surrounded by a huge muddle, the kids are stuck inside cos its been raining and I am loosing the plot in my head...

N is 18 months this week, so its 19 months since I stopped taking my meds (bar 2 weeks last year) but today I am wondering if I should go back on them, my mood is quite low, I am tired for no reason, and cant get out of my own way....

me thinks I better talk to Ben and look at going to see my GP and get sorted. I hate feeling like this, and I know that it will just get worse if I dont sort it out now.

love D

playing sport

2011-04-13T22:08:00.000+12:00

I am not a natural athlete, actually I have avoided organised sport for most of my life, I have done some triathlons, but nothing team related or involving contact, well this has all changed, I have started freshmeat training for Roller Derby... and I LOVE it!!! who would have thought I would like sport.

I love the challenge of learning to skate again and the skills that we are learning, I love the sense of belonging, I like getting to wear short shorts and not caring that my butt is huge. I love being with a group of women who aren't judging each other about our looks/weight/backgrounds/kids/incomes. Its amazing. I am finding it so freeing.

I am also enjoying being able to break out of the suburban housewife role that I find myself in, derby gives me an outlet to be aggressive if I want, to be physical, to wear fishnets, to swear, to be free....

I never thought I would find a sport that I wanted to do, but this I am addicted to, I love it.

project 2011 13/52

2011-04-07T23:05:00.000+12:00

sorry I missed last week, I cannot even remember why :)

so this weeks achievements include

finishing my skirt/trouser pattern drafting course
making a very stylish skirt
having a stall at Mamas market
getting elected onto the Labour party moderating committee to compile our party list
going out for drinks with derby girls
managing to do a knee drop and get up without using my hands at freshmeat

I am sure there is more but I am struggling to remember. Life has been really hectic the last few weeks so I am really looking forward to the school holidays and some time out.

love D

pro choice blogswarm

2011-04-07T10:31:00.000+12:00

Some awesome feminist writers I know are all blogging about Abortion today, I suggest that you go and read their posts. Try The Hand Mirror, A bee of a certain age, a touch of the crazy for starters, THM has a list of others who have blogged on this too....

I am pro choice, I personally though would not choose to have an abortion, its not something that I would do, but I do not want to project my own moral stance on to every woman that may need to have one. Its about choice, its about our bodies, and about us making the decision that suits us at the time we are making that decision.

I have 3 daughters, I like to hope/wish that they will never be in the position of deciding about continuing a pregnancy or not, but if they are in that situation I hope things will have changed enough so that they not have to convince Dr's that they are mentally incapable of continuing a pregnancy, and that abortion will be considered a health issue not a part of the crimes act.

It is about choice, it is about having abortion available and it is about women having autonomy over our own bodies, carrying a pregnancy is difficult, I know I have had 5 (1 loss). The physical toll of those pregnancies will stay with me, its not something I would want to go through with because I had no choice in the matter....

I would suggest that you go read the above blogs, their posts are awesome and make lots of sense, mine is more to bring attention to the matter on World Health Day and its an election year, so bring this issue to the attention of MP's and candidates.

project 2011 11/52

2011-03-24T22:03:00.000+13:00

I have been slacking with my blogging... life has been busy... and this week I have achieved very little....

I have made a pattern for trousers tonight at pattern drafting course.
watched roller derby practice
spent time hanging out with my sister who is staying with us

I havent done very much at all, I spent the weekend sick in bed with Mastitis so didnt skate this week as was feeling too tired from that. and nothing else is happening either.

love D

project 2011 10/52

2011-03-17T22:55:00.000+13:00

mm what have I done this week...

I have fallen more in love with roller derby training even though its killing me lol
sewn a skirt from a pattern that I made, yay
been to Gisborne and back for Labour party stuff
been to pattern drafting course, am loving that too
lost 500 grams
decided to drop the number of breastfeeds Miss N gets

I am loving Roller derby/freshmeat training, its awesome, so physically challenging for me and its a real sense of achievement each time I learn something new. The weight loss is back on track, the skating is helping with that one. I am enjoying learning how to make patterns for sewing, I made a skirt today from my pattern and it fitted beautifully, I need to make some small adjustments to the length and to the curve on the hip otherwise its brilliant.

Love D

project 2011 8/52

2011-03-10T10:28:00.000+13:00

Hello, mm just trying to think what I have achieved this week, so weeks it feels like you cannot remember what you did yesterday let alone last week lol.

this week I have

finished two slings that were ordered
continued helping with Handmade for Christchurch
helped the girls do triathlon and skating
started freshmeat training for rollerderby
organised for N and I to go to Gisborne for this coming weekend

I cannot think what else I have done, but that seems like an ok list.

back home

2011-03-06T12:11:00.000+13:00

yay, Benjamin is home, its been a busy week and its nice to have him back...

I have often read the paper and seen people in power slamming Mums on the DPb, saying that they choose to be on it etc, I have just spent the week parenting by myself with 4 children and I can't say I would be in a hurry to leave what I have just for the money.... it was damn hard work, I couldnt step out when things got to much, I had to do everything, when Ben is here I have the option of back up on issues, someone to take over, or to share the load.

Instead of slamming those women who are on the DPB we should be supporting them, its a tough job being a parent, and even tougher doing it on your own. We should be looking at flexible childcare arrangements if they want to work, we need to think about funding retraining again so that they can get off the DPB and work in meaningful employment if they want to, we should also be supporting their right to be at home with their children too... and thats not happening at all. Its not ok to say if you are on the DPB you should be looking for a job when your baby is 14 weeks old.. its better for that mum and baby if she is supported to look after that baby and has the help finacially to do it....

Its good occasionally to do things differently it gives you an appreciation for how things are.

love D

project 2011 9/52

2011-03-03T22:41:00.000+13:00

Sorry I missed last week, but it was too hard to blog...but this week I have been busy

I have :

nearly finished two slings (one of which is going to a Chch family displaced by the earthquake
donated a sling to Handmade for Christchurch
helped behind the scenes with Handmade for Christchurch
parented alone since Sunday and not gone insane
Helped the girls do triathlon on Monday, skating on Tuesday, and Girls brigade today,
stayed the same weight
started a pattern drafting course
Blogged on connect2mums

So a wee bit going on, Benjamin is in Chch helping his family and helping run a foodbank in one of the most affected areas, I am really proud of him and hes doing an awesome job

love D

world turned upside down

2011-02-24T13:51:00.000+13:00

On Tuesday our old hometown was torn apart by an earthquake, we have been reading and looking at photos on line, using twitter, and glued to facebook to see that our loved ones are ok... its just devastating and so hard to watch it all...

My parents in law are all ok, and have suffered damage to their houses but that its nothing compared to those that have lost loved ones.

I have offered to be a drop off place for Scamps Eco boutiques collection, and have pledged to make something for handmade for christchurch ( a collective of craft Mums I belong too)... We are looking at sending Benjamin down there to help our family and friends with the clean up.

Its damn hard being here and unable to physically help so I figure that I will just keep using the net and put any info I see out on twitter and facebook, its better than doing nothing.

love D

In the garden

2011-02-21T09:21:00.001+13:00

after having coffee on Thursday night with the awesome Deborah, we were sitting in the car admiring my delightfully over grown front garden... actually we were talking about what needed to be gotten rid of and what would look better in its place...

Yesterday I mowed the front lawn and while I had the spade out trying to sort the edges I got carried away and we now have now plants in front of the house bar one which Ben and I didn't have the energy to move... theres still some grass to be tamed but that's ok...

so whats next.. umm we aren't sure, we both love native trees so we are thinking of doing some form of hedge at the front of the section for privacy as white picket fences cost a small fortune and we like trees that are still living better.... It was really good to get out there and make some difference as it was beginning to look really unloved... it was great getting rid of the nasty huge geraniums and fuchsia's that were well past their best by date.

I have one gripe though... we loaded all the green waste on the trailer and it cost $30 to dump it... was not impressed with that bit of it at all...

love D

project 2011 7/52

2011-02-17T09:30:00.001+13:00

wow its really been 6 posts for this already, blimmen heck....

what have I achieved this week....

have recieved 3 orders to make and bought the fabric to do them
taken the kids to do the kids triathlons on Monday
Roller skating lessons for the girls on Tuesday
found out about roller derby lessons for me
visited friends
lost 500 grams, and no I dont need to look for them again :)
drunk less coke
blogged for diary of Mumpreneur

not too bad....

love d

project 2011 6/52

2011-02-10T22:25:00.000+13:00

so this week has been pretty good, its great having the kids back into school/kindy routine....

things I have achieved this week.....

sewn a gorgeous ruffled apron as a present for miss L's friend
weighed in and lost 2kg since starting my losing weight goal// down to 93 kg... down from 99 at this time last year.
lost 3 cm of 3 of my measurements this week, awesome....
kept up with myfitnesspal and only gone over in calories today

I have set myself a strange goal to achieve this year, and my hubby doesnt get it at all, I want to fit into my wedding dress... I havent fitted it since I turned 21... yep 13 long years, so I want to fit into it again.... its a size 14/16 and I currently wear a 18.

love d

out of the mouth of babes

2011-02-07T16:45:00.000+13:00

we were talking this morning at breakfast about how tvnz/government was changing Kidzone tv into something aimed at teenagers.... Miss 7 brilliantly says.. they (the government) are like coyote, they just do something and don't think about it first" wow shes so awesome.....

They are rather addicted to watching Roadrunner and Tom and Jerry so see the consequences of not thinking.

I was just using facebook and Miss 7 noticed I have a green twibbon over my picture... whats that for Mama.... that's because the government is giving Kindy's less money and I don't like it.... miss 7 that's bad kindy is important.

I am proud that my kids are growing up with a social conscience and are aware of the world around them

project 2011 5/52

2011-02-03T18:53:00.000+13:00

wow its Thursday already, I really have no idea where that week has even gone.... so what have I achieved this week... mmmm

I finally finished the wee skirt I started 3 weeks ago for K.. its so cute, I have made 2 headbands for school, ummm lost a couple of cm's off my hips, got the girls back to school for the year with all the entails, and got O back to kindy with changed hours....

we achieved a family night away in Wellington which was so good, we really needed to have some fun together again after being so stressed recently.

I have dropped Miss N back to one feed at night and we are working on changing that too... Yay.

Not a bad week really when I write it all down.

And not that it was me, but the biggest achievement ever was the submission of Bens's thesis on Monday at Uni, yahoo.....
love D

its so quiet

2011-02-02T10:42:00.001+13:00

school and kindy started back today.. and wow is it quiet here..... Bubs is sleeping, and the other three are at school and kindy. It was a good start, we managed to leave before 8:30am, and the girls are both happy to be back. Miss L has lots of friends in her class and so does Miss K. Mr O has started doing 2 mornings a week at kindy which is a change from the 3 afternoons, and his best friend started kindy this morning, it was so nice seeing them all so happy to see their friends.

I joke about living in middle class suburbia, but it does have some nice things that go with it... our children have nice friends, and we can walk them to school, its nice, its comfortable and I am beginning to think that actually its not that bad a place to be.

so my silent time is really weird though after having so much noise and chaos its kind of hard to know what to do next... I have cleaned the kitchen, moved the table so the high chair is in a better spot, and am just about to start on the lounge... wow this having one kid at home might be more productive than I thought.

extremely proud and relieved

2011-01-31T22:30:00.000+13:00

Last week was extremely stressful, after trying to get the thesis submitted by the 21st, we came home with it still to be finished.... and it was all ready to send on Thursday, which I helped Ben to do, I saw it all bound and printed and was very proud..... But there was a mistake... word in all its glory had changed the figure titles so it was printed wrong, poor Ben spent Friday fixing it, printing it, couriering it and hoping like anything that it would get to Canterbury University on time for submission today.....

and it got there... what relief... its done, submitted and we can relax for ten minutes (we did this weekend, it was awesome). What comes next is an oral defense of his work to two examiners, then some changes and its finally accepted and he will be able to graduated and add Dr to the front of his Name or use PhD behind it... pretty bloody amazing and I am so so proud of him.

project 2011 4/52

2011-01-27T21:38:00.000+13:00

so far I am managing to stick at this, yay me.

I am totally hanging out for school to go back, and I have achieved a few things this week
1. tidied and sorted big daughters clothing
2. half sorted my clothes
3. met a blog/facebook friend in real life for coffee and shes even more awesome than I thought she would be
4. completed my first week using my fitness pal and watching what I eat.
5. cried with happiness because the phd was couriered to Uni today....

not huge things, just little and trying to get through till next week.

for sale one tired grumpy mama

2011-01-25T12:49:00.000+13:00

today I am struggling, Mr O will not use his words, instead he screams, and cries about everything and I feel I am losing the plot with him... I don't know what to do...hes fighting with his sisters, kicking, shoving, and being quite aggressive... I just want to yell and scream at him but I know that its not going to help at all..... its a lovely day and I should be happy but I feel miserable... so am thinking that instead of selling the kids maybe we should sell me

home sweet home

2011-01-24T16:00:00.002+13:00

we had an awesome 5 weeks at Mum and Dad's and loved being with them.... but there is something nice about coming home to our own space and our own things....

project 2011 3/52

2011-01-22T12:10:00.000+13:00

sorry this is 2 days late, we were flat out on Thursday with visitors and packing etc to start heading home from our holiday....

on my achieved this week, I made some nice 3/4 pants for me, and learned that making ruffles isnt fun... I also sold some jackets for a friend via my facebook page....

I started keeping track of my eating too which is good too....

D

eating better

2011-01-17T09:44:00.000+13:00

with not walking to school and back everyday and xmas etc my weight has crept up a little bit... so today I am looking at how and what I eat, am going to record everything and see where I can make changes.

it should be an interesting exercise for me and might be a bit scary... I am using my fitness pal..... which helps me track my calories etc...

project 2011 2/52

2011-01-13T11:54:00.000+13:00

mm week 2.... my biggest achievement may be rather small but I am really proud of myself... I baked a banana cake all by myself... now this may seems insignificant, but I do not bake... at all... never ever, not since I was at school.... and it tasted good too, yay me

my other achievements this week were to make 2 pair of pants and 2 skirts on Sunday with Mum for Mum.... and I am still doing good with the no coke thing, yay for that too.... I have some other things cut out which I am going to do this weekend.

so not doing too bad overall... no change in weight which is ok.. I am pretty tired so I am not too worried about that one.

love D

lightweight blogger

2011-01-10T11:50:00.000+13:00

I read all sorts of blogs, chatty ones, feminist ones, political ones, TV ones.... I was reading some heavy feminist ones this morning which made me question my own personal blogging... I have all sorts of thoughts but I don't often blog about them, I guess I don't want to offend family who might read this... but why?

its my blog yet I worry about others sensibilities when they read it... very strange and maybe I need to think less about this when I am writing. I am not a hugely intellectual writer but I do think a lot about things that are happening around me and in the world at large and so I am going to write more about some of those things too....

So here's to me and writing things that might provoke thought in others.....

gorgeous pictures....

2011-01-08T21:44:00.000+13:00

this speaks for itself really...... one lot are more offensive than the others.. I know which ones offend me more.

D

project 2011 1/52

2011-01-06T13:15:00.000+13:00

accountability to myself for myself.... this is about me being honest and making progress on goals that I have set myself.....

this week as of Monday I have stopped drinking fizzy drink.... no more sneaky cans of coke in the car, no more drinking over 1l of coke in a day..... coke is a treat... so shall be consumed occasionally at a meal out etc... not for everyday consumption. so 5 days so far without it....

I have weighed and measured myself.... 94.5kg, 119cm hips and bust and 110cm hips and 163cm tall... hourglass without the defined waist... the goal is to get to 75kg... it will take time but I will do it.

this year is about improving me and I have started that.

love D

down under feminists carnival

2011-01-06T11:10:00.000+13:00

its up and my breastfeeding in public piece is in it.. yay me.... there are some awesome feminists blogging that are well worth reading so go ahead and enjoy

project 2011

2011-01-05T15:06:00.000+13:00

I found this on another blog.. but its all about keeping yourself accountable by blogging on Thursdays what you have achieved this week...... I am going to use it as a way to keep myself on track for my goals this year....

to do this year

2011-01-04T21:27:00.000+13:00

this year I want to.....

enjoy time with my husband, children, parents, sister, other family and friends
lose 10kg, not because of vanity but because of health
further develop Black Bow designs
declutter, esp my wardrobe....
learn to sew better (learn some new skills and pattern drafting etc)

a small list but obtainable I think....

love D

late but merry christmas

2010-12-27T19:44:00.000+13:00

hope you all had a fabulous day celebrating with people that you love... we had Christmas here in Oamaru with my sister, parents and my Granny.... it was brilliant. great food, and great presents oh and great company :)

yesterday we had an early birthday tea for Benjamin, its his birthday on the 2nd but he will be in Chch writing and we will be at Lake Tekapo or here in Oamaru, yummy roast chicken and homemade lemon meringue pie for desert....

highs of 2010

2010-12-23T13:21:00.000+13:00

wow, its nearly the end of the year, its been trying at times and hard work, but I have survived my first year as a Mama to four awesome little people...

so this year we clocked up some neat milestones, 12 years of being married, and year 6 of PhD land.... Miss N reached a lot of firsts, smiling, crawling, walking, still feeding. Mr O went from a cot sleeping, nappy wearing, dummy sucking little boy, to an independant kindy kid. Miss L started school which is a huge thing in itself and is taking it all in her stride, Miss K lost 3 teeth and has formed some great friendships which I hope will last her a life time.....

I have lost some weight, yay me, got my mobility back, started Black Bow designs, supported Ben in his study, got elected to NZLP Womens council, sponsored a sling walk, become a better friend, owned our own house for a year and celebrated 12 months medication free... not too bad really.....

phd... the mistress that I know about

2010-12-14T22:01:00.000+13:00

and a very demanding one at that....I know other wives that have felt the same, or you just feel like its totally taken over your Husbands life and that you come second to it... thank goodness the damn thing is close to being completed.

blogosphere

2010-12-13T20:35:00.000+13:00

some places I like to go to read are the awesome Stef, her travel and food photos are awesome, for political happenings I love THM.. for more intellectual stuff Deborah writes amazingly. I went to school with Anna and her blog makes me giggle.

A blog named fred is another that I visit often, and I love reading blogging project runway, but if you havent seen season 8 dont read it. Carla is another blogger I read, Tales of a red headed devil is neat for crafty knitting madness.... I like reading Nick Verreos of project runway fame too....

hopefully you might find something you like above

love D

christmas is coming

2010-12-12T10:34:00.000+13:00

and I am not organised enough at all, I have a present for K,L and N, but no ideas really for Mr3, we are on a really tight budget that is not helped by petrol hitting the $2 a litre mark. Most of our money is being used for our trip south next weekend.

my present was to get my hair coloured properly, so I now have nice blonde hair instead of terribly dyed at home brassy blonde hair... it seems like a strange present but it was something I wanted to get done and I love how it looks... and I had a voucher of 50% off which helped make it affordable.

I have made my sisters present and I won a gorgeous necklace for her earlier this year, I am making something for Mum and we are getting Dad a joint present. Ben choose his own present and hes pretty happy with that. Its the first time in ages that I have struggled to get organised and to be excited about it all, maybe it will get better once the girls finish school on Wednesday

this time next month

2010-12-10T21:38:00.002+13:00

we shall be celebrating... yahoo, the PhD will be handed in and we will be able to relax a bit.. wahoo..... now to get through the next month...

night feeding

2010-12-10T13:17:00.000+13:00

I need some help.. I am getting a bit tired of feeding bubs 3 or 4 times a night, I will not let her cry it out as I hate it.. so I am asking for strategies that worked for you... it seems the more stressed I am the more she wakes at night which isnt helping the situation at all....

she has yet to sleep the whole night and is over 12 months old, the longest sleep I have had since august last year is 7 hours....

D

questioning faith

2010-12-09T10:55:00.000+13:00

I am not sure if its my faith that I am questioning or the lack of sense of belonging at the church I currently attend.. I have been feeling like this since I shifted back from Oamaru, a sense of dislocation from the community of my church and just not really feeling like I fit in... So next year I am going to see what else there is out there... I aren't 100% sure what I am looking for but I want to be happy in my choice.

I sometime wonder about my extended family too... I am a Labour supporter and quite open about it, I just wonder if I fit at all... some of it comes from having gone to uni, and I am not saying I am better than anyone, it just gives you a different outlook on life, some of it is political that my stance is different, and some is just that I have never really fitted in.

My parents are lefties too, so was my Grandma, I use to have awesome conversations with her about politics and who to vote for, she loved MMP, she lived in Wigram and could vote for Jim Anderton and vote Labour, best of both worlds she thought. I am just feeling a bit lost in a few ways and when that's happening its so easy to just question everything around you.

is it s a luxury...

2010-12-08T09:54:00.000+13:00

I have decided lately that its great that we live so close to our school that there is no point what so ever in driving my girls to school. Its lead me to wonder though if that is a luxury or not.... We chose to move into our school zone so our children has automatic entry and we bought our house on the same street as school for convenience and because it was the right price.

What I also wondered was if what was normal for me of walking to and from school with out Mum was now not the norm for most kids... it was one of the factors in our shifting house too that we the girls be able to have some Independence in getting themselves either too or from school some days, Miss K loves being able to walk home with Miss L, I don't let them walk alone, they must be together. Its also nice that a lot of other children around us walk too.. and this morning I was able to get our neighbour to walk Miss L to school as Miss K is home sick.

Another advantage of our living so close to school and kindy is that I now use 1 tank of petrol a fortnight, which is half of what we were using when we had to drive to school. We did choose though to not send Miss K to our closest school when she started school as we intended to shift to the area we now live in.

Its also great that Ben is able to bike to and from work too, its a nuisance to do buses from our place as you have to go right into town then out to Massey, and he can bike the 7km in about 20 minutes which at peak times is quicker than driving there.

D

on the soapbox.. breastfeeding in Public

2010-12-06T21:12:00.001+13:00

Some women I know staged a breastfeeding sit in last week to protest on of their friends treatment in a cafe.... the woman was approached and told not to feed there and that breastfeeding was unhygienic.... seriously? what country are we living in?

When I had K, I struggled a lot with breastfeeding her, and would use a shawl over us when she was tiny to breastfeed in public, as I got more confident I would just feed her whenever and wherever she needed it.... now I am happy and comfortable that I just feed when N needs it too....

I had a woman pull my top down over the side of my breast earlier this year, I found it strange and offensive that she thought she had the right to do that too me, esp as we were waiting in the women's health clinic at the Hospital... I didn't say anything and now wish I had.

Why does a woman breastfeeding in public cause such alarm among some people... to me its perfectly natural and normal to do this, I would never comment to a woman bottle feeding her baby that its unhygienic or disgusting yet people do this to breastfeeding mothers a lot.

I get the whole breasts are sexual thing, but seriously breasts are there to feed babies too... multi functional things breasts are..... but if you are classifying breasts as sexual and that they should not be seen in public like that, then had we better start covering our mouths and hands too. They can be used for sexual purposes too.

And as for the woman's comments that its not good for kids to see breasts... well I don't get that either.... my children are comfortable with me breastfeeding, and what parent has never had their child walk in to the bathroom when showering, little kids don't care about breasts... they are just breasts to them, nothing sexual in it.

Anyway, rant over, and big ups to the women who took a stand on this.

weight loss journey

2010-12-06T09:41:00.000+13:00

its taking a while, but my journey is getting better, I was a size 24 after I had miss K, my hip measurement was 133cm, and my bust was 125cm, pretty big really, so I have been slowly loosing weight since then and getting more active, I measured myself in the weekend and my hips are 120cm and my bust is 116cm, wow, they are still too big but its awesome to see that I really am smaller than I was. I am hoping to start doing more exercise soon esp as its school holidays I want to start walking or biking more with the kids.

I am quite proud of myself, its a huge battle for me to not eat crap or drink coke and coffee laden with sugar, so its nice to see that it is paying off....

D

headaches

2010-12-05T22:12:00.000+13:00

so I am still getting nasty headaches, I am trying to drink more water but still getting them, my GP suggested trying to lower my stress levels as that's probably whats causing them but its really hard for me to relax at the moment... I am worried about Christmas, about travelling, about money and about Ben getting his PhD finished... any ideas for relaxation would be welcomed....

I hate how it makes me act too, I am not liking the person I have been today, grumpy, head achy, just blah and not good....

love D

date night

2010-11-30T10:02:00.000+13:00

we have been having some issues with Miss K going to bed and staying there, we are not sure if its an attention seeking thing or if there is some reason that she wont talk to us about, so last weekend we instituted a tick chart... stay in bed 5 nights in a row and Mama will take you out for a fluffy as a reward.. well it did work, and last night her and I put on our nice dresses and went out for hot chocolates and ice cream..... it was really nice to have some one on one time with her and we were able to talk about some things which was great.

Miss L currently has a tick chart going too.. hers is to do with eating all her tea.... she often will eat 5 or 6 mouthfuls then say shes finished, so shes been making a real effort to eat all her tea, shes got her 5 ticks and I will plan something for her and I next week I think.

the problem though is that Miss K earned her 5 ticks then stopped staying in bed... so do we start the chart again? or does some other measure need to be taken?

D

Monday, Monday

2010-11-29T10:23:00.000+13:00

and the words to that song often goes around in my head on a monday morning when I am trying to catch up on things, but this morning I have hung out washing and am about to start tidying the living room, its so warm though that I have got the air con going....

And this afternoon I get to go to breastfeeding group which will be really good, I love going to it, and am proud that I have gotten bubs to 12 months breastfed with no formula or bottles at all, yay, so 2/4 have been breastfed till 12 months, L I got to 11 months, and K to 10 months with formula supplementing the breastfeeding.... to have continued feeding after the disasterous start I had with K is awesome, I had cracked nipples, blisters, mastitis requiring hospitalisation, latching issues, just major mountain to climb, and now its just so easy, I am really proud of my breastfeeding journey and think I am lucky to have had great support to have gotten this far with it.

D

my darling baby is one

2010-11-26T23:28:00.000+13:00

yesterday was Baby N's 1st birthday, shes just gorgeous, and we are so blessed that shes part of our family.... but instead of raving about her I will just leave you a gorgeous image of her instead because we think shes the most beautiful baby ever.... this was taken just after a breastfeed, I love the way it makes them so drowsy

party tomorrow

2010-11-19T17:02:00.000+13:00

its Mr O's 3rd birthday tomorrow, far out has that gone quickly, we have got him a big tonka fire truck which I am hoping he will love as hes hugely into fire trucks and any other vehicles at the moment, next Thursday Miss N turns one so we are having a joint party for them tomorrow afternoon.

Next year we might have separate parties but at 3 and 1 we don't think its important esp as the same guests would have been invited anyway.

so this time tomorrow I will be sitting here recovering from an awesome party for my two littlies.

D

breaking the addiction

2010-11-18T16:12:00.000+13:00

because I am rather anxious at the moment I have been drinking a can or 600ml bottle of coke most days, but yesterday I decided no more, if I want coke it has to be coke zero and its not going to be as often as I have been drinking it, I am going to try to cut down sugar in my coffee too... why I ask myself? I am now the lightest I have been in over 10 years, yep 95kgs.. still too much but coming down so I need to get moving, I ran most of the way home pushing the double buggy this afternoon and walked rather quickly too school, so my aim is to walk the school trip faster, cut back on sugar and other crap food and really try to lose some more weight, I am liking being able to wear smaller clothes or having my clothes fit nicer so I am really trying to do this and to keep myself honest about it.

D

the end is near...

2010-11-16T21:15:00.000+13:00

yay, Ben has a date for submission of his PhD, yahoo.... its the 10th of Jan... still hanging over us for
Xmas but that's OK a date is good.

So our plans are head south on the 18th of December, he will stay in Christchurch till Christmas and study and I will take the kids south to my parents. We will all go camping between Christmas and New years then Ben will head back to Christchurch to study and submit the PhD and I will stay with Mum and Dad... then we will all head home, yay.

I am happy that we know when its all got to be finished by, hes working such crazy hours that he will be so tired once its all done. But hopefully it will be worth it, well I am hoping it is.

D

first steps...

2010-11-05T23:02:00.000+13:00

Miss N has been taking one step here and one there for a few weeks now, but today she did it.. she just kept going... 6 steps in a row, it was so cute and I was so proud of her. And she then did it again when Ben got home so it wasnt a fluke....

So looks like my youngest bubba will be my youngest walker too....

broken wrist

2010-11-04T22:50:00.000+13:00

I just realised that I hadn't even blogged that Miss L had fractured her wrist so the comments about her cast coming off totally wouldn't have made sense

She green stick fractured it on the second Monday of the school holidays... she was pushed over by miss K and fell awkwardly... and of course all the drama happened at 5:30pm so was not brilliant timing at all for any of us.

She was great about it all, really brave and lucky that it didn't snap the bone at all, apparently its a really common break, and it only needed a cast for 4 weeks. The cast she chose was awesome, light blue and it glowed in the dark.....

So after 7 years of being a parent we had our first big injury, not that bad really but was horrible seeing her in pain....

D

wow

2010-11-04T15:53:00.000+13:00

so there are some changes happening in my life that I cant really go public with yet, but its very cool and giving me a new direction for some current projects.

miss L has had her cast off after fracturing her wrist in the school holidays, she and I are happy that its gone, it was a pain to keep it dry to bath and shower but glad wrap is awesome stuff for keeping water off casts.

We have 2 birthdays coming up, hard to believe that Miss N is going to be one soon, shes just gorgeous and a real blessing to us, she can take a step when standing so we are hoping she might be walking soon, Mr O is 3 5 days before her birthday, gosh time is flying so fast this year.

the dratted Phd is still being written, I am so over it, just wish it was done so we could get on with life.... but hey the end is near on it which is great.

Miss K is great, so much healthier now shes had those tonsils out.... its nice that shes not missing school like she was.

I am doing ok, still not 100% but trying to get things done and keep some routine going....

D

have been away

2010-10-20T20:56:00.000+13:00

Bubs and I went to Auckland for a few days, to do the sling walk and to go to Labour party conference.

It was great to get away from the normal routine and to meet lots of old friends and meet some new ones too.... Baby girl was really good and it was nice just being her and I.

the slingwalk was awesome... over 70 people attended it, it was a stunning day and I got tomato red sunburn which was so painful (note to self: put sunblock on when you take your cardy off)

Conference was good too, I got elected onto Womens council which is very cool, I havent been on it since 2003.

D

me...

2010-10-02T12:26:00.001+13:00

I need a bit of help... I am flat and down, but am trying to keep moving, I need some ideas of something I could do for myself to help move forward.. I am trying to be positive and keep moving forward, taking my medication again is helping but I need to do a bit more than just that.

I am going to Auckland for a weekend just soon which I am really looking forward too... so I was thinking about what clothes to take, they need to be smart, but comfortable and feeding friendly, I have 2 sling orders to do then I can create something nice for me, I am a sponsor for the sling walk so want to wear something nice to that, but not ott.... will need to think about comfy shoes too... hmmm I know it all sounds shallow but its giving me something positive to think about and to do for me, I also want to have another sort out of my clothing.. I have far too much.

love D

rough patch

2010-10-01T09:54:00.000+13:00

I have hit a low patch... I am pleased though that I saw it coming and have started taking my medication again, I had been off my anti depressants for 12 months which is the longest since I was 17 so I am really pleased about that, it shows that I can do ok with life. But things have been getting on top of me and my anxiety levels have been out of whack so I have started on my meds again. Its been 2 weeks now and they are slowly beginning to work which is good.

I am really pleased though that it wasn't Mum or Ben telling me I was low this time, I saw it coming and took action which was really good. I hate feeling like this and am hoping that once the meds kick in I will start feeling a lot better again, its so annoying I have so much in my life to be grateful for yet I feel like crap.... oh well maybe things will get better soon.

love D

2010 Auckland Sling walk sponsor

2010-09-16T23:21:00.002+12:00

I am sponsoring my first thing as a business.. how damn cool is that, click on the link to the side and see where it takes you, love D

wardrobe wednesday.. opps forgot

2010-09-16T14:45:00.000+12:00

but iwas wearing similar today so I just swapped the dress to show you what I had on yesterday, its a apron top, but dress length with a self belt and a waterfall skirt at the back.... its made out of an old sari. I wore it with black boots, white t shirt and black 3/4 leggings....

tired grumpy and stressed

2010-09-12T22:10:00.000+12:00

I am tired, had have a nasty headache all day and I am stressing out big time... I have had a busy day yesterday with 18 kids here for Miss L's party so had a quiet day today, but my big stress at the moment is more worry actually... I am scared, Miss K is having her tonsils out tomorrow, I know its routine, I know what they will do etc, but shes my baby and I don't like the idea of her being in pain....

so i am scared, stressed, anxious etc, we have to be at the hospital at 7am and things will go from there, I know that it should be fine... but shes so little and shes my wee girl .... and i am just being normal...

earthquake

2010-09-09T09:28:00.000+12:00

we were woken on Saturday moring to the news that Christchurch had been hit by a 7.1 earthquake, thank god that no one died....looking at the photos make me sad, I lived in Chch for 5 years, so each photo of a familiar place makes me fell worse

there have been over 270 aftershocks and its those aftershocks that are doing the emotion damage to people. its so sad and really hard feeling like I cant help up here. This website gives a really clear indication of how often the aftershocks are happening and why people are so on edge...

Our families are all ok, Bens parents places are fine which is great, and my parents are further south in Oamaru so they havent been affected by it.

anyway huge hugs to any of you that are affected and if ther is a way we can help please ask.

my girl is finishing Kindy today

2010-09-03T11:18:00.000+12:00

My wee miss L is 5 on Monday, she will start school that day... I am sad about her being so grown up, its a bittersweet feeling as she is so ready to start school, and so excited... shes very philosophical about it, when I asked her if she would miss kindy she said "no Mama, I can just go to the fence and see them," and she will see her kindy teacher when Mr O starts kindy next term....

wardrobe wednesday

2010-09-01T18:18:00.000+12:00

this is what I wore today, being the first day of spring so I decided against wearing tights.... the skirt I made over the weekend, its a gorgeous cotton sateen and I am in love with it, the red t shirt I got in a clothing swap and the same with the denim jacket, Mr O wanted to be in the photo too....

D

home alone, well with the kids

2010-08-28T16:45:00.000+12:00

Ben is away for a week, so its my first parenting alone session with 4 kids, its taking a bit of juggling but I am doing pretty good so far, having music on in the evenings helps, and keeping our routine going is going to be the biggest way to keep things fine....

I didnt want him to go, but am doing ok, was nervous as to how I would go last night, but we did fine, the kids were good at doing what was expected of them.

so one day down and 6 to go.....

wednesday wardrobe... week 2

2010-08-25T22:37:00.000+12:00

I will add a photo as soon as I can, but my outfit today was a grey hat, a red merino v necked top, black below knee shorts and my fave red boots....., comfy for school run etc and nice and bright, the hat was to cover up a bad hair day

feeling sick

2010-08-23T13:04:00.000+12:00

for the first time in over 2 years I have the flu... sore body, sore head and a temperature, Ben got it first, then K, and now me..... I haven't had a temperature for a while now and I had forgotten how truly horrid it makes you feel... thank goodness for panadol and sleep...

what I am finding really hard is drinking and eating enough, esp as I am breastfeeding, has anyone got some hints on something that's easy to eat or drink that wont make me want to throw up?

D

wardrobe Wednesday....

2010-08-18T21:28:00.000+12:00

I found this while surfing today over at Dee construction..... so I looked further... and the idea is that you post an outfit that you have worn that week

so here is my contribution for the week....

Black pillowcase dress made out of a sari, blue knee high boots, black warehouse leggings(not seen) and a black warehouse t shirt.....

school soon

2010-08-16T11:42:00.000+12:00

three weeks today Miss L will start school... wow, she will be 5, I look at her some days and wonder where that time has gone, I will have 2 wee girls at school and two lil ones at home with me....

I am actually really excited about her starting school, shes bored at kindy and needs some new challenges. She is ready for school too, she has her first school visit this week and has been doing Smart Start for a few weeks now. (smart start is a system our school has where we take them on a Monday afternoon to school for an hour in the class they will be in with the teacher and anyone else starting in the next 8-10 weeks..)

I have to get the last bits of her uniform this pay and then we just have to wait for her to start and to plan a 5th birthday party..... which will be after she starts school as Ben is away the week before her birthday and I don't want to plan everything on top of a week of parenting alone....

D

new blog

2010-08-15T15:31:00.000+12:00

I decided to add a blog to my business stuff, so that I could have a bit more personal stuff, and some more writing behind what I do....

love D

2 years of blogging today

2010-08-11T19:12:00.000+12:00

happy blogversary to me.. wow 2 years, I am somewhat amazed that I have stuck with this blogging business.... I started when Mr O was 8 1/2 months old, the same age Miss N is now.... my eldest had just started school, in three weeks time I will have 2 girls at school....

Some days I wonder why I do it, but generally I really like having a space to write, its not always brilliant writing, but I try and I enjoy it.

so happy blogversary to me

Black Bow designs has a logo

2010-08-06T16:42:00.000+12:00

yep.. my label has its own logo... am so pleased with it, just love how it looks, it was exactly what I asked for, simple, elegant, a bow and italic writing......

But I will let you make up your own minds... I am in love with it, and smile everytime I see it on my facebook page which by the way has over 270 fans....

D

World Breastfeeding week

2010-08-04T22:23:00.000+12:00

Breastfeeding Miss K at Sumner beach in the middle of winter

I am pretty passionate about breastfeeding, I think it comes from the huge struggle I had with Miss K, learning how to feed her was horrid, the sore, cracked, (now scared) nipples, the difficulty latching, the low weight gain, neonates, mum being in hospital, mastitis, iv antibiotics, the list was endless.... but we got there, I fed her till she was 10 months, Miss L was feed exclusively by me till 5 months and then until 11 months, she had formula once or twice... Mr O was breastfed till 14 months and Miss N is going strong at 8 months....

girls feeding their babies... aged 4 and 2.. now 7 and nearly 5

My biggest support other than Ben were the fabulous Lactation consultants at the Hospital, the gave me believe in myself that I could do it... so I now like to help others to be able to breastfeed too... I go to a group on a Monday and help support other Mums who are doing this too.....

Feeding Miss L in neonates

I do other things too, like put random photos on web pages.. this lead to a story being published today....It's about breastfeeding and jaundice....

feeding mr O aged 9 months

I am lucky breastfeeding has gotten easier for me, but I will not forget the struggle that it was, and will not judge other Mums for their choices.....

Feeding Miss N aged 3 months

need to rant

2010-07-12T11:58:00.000+12:00

I am feeling really pissed off, I have made a Mei tai carrier to sell, I have called it a Palmsupial... that's not the problem,. the problem is that a woman I went to school with saw them on my business page, made one and is now selling them too...

I don't know whether to approach her about it, or to just leave it, anyway it makes me unhappy and I have been careful not to sell/make things that my friends are making, I have tried to keep away from that as I feel its unethical.

I am able to make most things I see yet I don't as I respect the creators rights on it. I understand that most clothing ideas come from someone else etc, nothing is new, its just frustrating me as I am making these to sell and shes copied my idea and doing it too....

babywearing.....

2010-06-27T15:46:00.000+12:00

I just read a blog post about the term babywearing being insulting to babies... I don't think it is... to me it implies a way of life where carrying you baby in a sling , carriers, piece of cloth is normal, that keeping baby close is important and helps with bonding, and makes life easier for parent/carer and for bubs.

Its like its a movement that promotes baby's wellbeing and happiness... maybe it could be termed something else, but what? baby slinging sounds bad.... and I cannot think of other names for using a sling.

I love wearing my baby in her sling, its nice to have her close, shes contented when in the sling, shes happy and that's one of the main reasons I do it. Its great for bonding, for breastfeeding, for having free hands to look after my other kids... I am a convert, babywearing is awesome.

can I have another weekend please

2010-06-20T20:44:00.001+12:00

we have had a hugely busy weekend and I need another one so I can recover..... we have been to two birthday parties, a bastketball game, another friends for coffee, had an extra for the night, had one away for a night... and a teething baby.

Its been great though but I need a rest. I made a wee apron too for the birthday today so was sewing too, and trying to catch up on the washing too. Oh well tomorrow is another day, so I will try to get stuff done that I have neglected today.

d

black bow designs is online

2010-06-17T18:10:00.000+12:00

Today I launched my own website, I had an awesome helper who has helped make it look fabulous.... please go check it out.

D

co sleeping

2010-06-16T10:39:00.000+12:00

I somehow ended up being interviewed for the Herald on Sunday via email about co sleeping, it cam up on facebook through a group I belonged to that a journalist was wanting to talk to co sleeping parents about their experiences and the advice they had been given by midwives, Drs, nurses etc....o I talked via email to the journalist and I was quoted in the article.

I have co slept with all our babies, with K she was over 3 months I think before I did, I was scared that she was so little and I found it difficult to sleep with her, my confidence as a mum has grown though and now most of the night little N sleeps with me, they have all slept in the daytime in their cot and from 1am most nights they sleep with us. I have read about the risks from co sleeping, and I decided that it works for us.... I am not suggesting thought that everyone should do it.

I did an informal poll of friends on facebook, some co sleep happily others didnt, it was discouraged when I was a baby and thats ok, we make choices from the information that we have available to us, and that was the gist of the article in the paper, that information is not being given to Mums about co sleeping, its benefits and its risks.

So readers what are your thoughts on this?

love D

I'm Back.....

2010-06-13T20:58:00.001+12:00

sorry its been a busy week, and I have neglected my writing of posts.... I have had my sister here and its been so nice just hanging out together. I miss having her close, its 10 yers now since we last lived in the same place, ages really, and I miss doing ordinary things with her. I miss hanging out with my Mum and Dad too, but I am lucky as we are heading south fror the school holidays next month, yay 2 weeks in the South Island, my Granny is coming to visit us at Mum and Dads so she can see her great grandchildren and meet Miss N.

Its the longest that I have ever not gone south, it will have been a whole year, when we first shifted up here I would just go whenever I wanted too.. now its carefully planned to the cheapest flights and the easiest way to travel with children. I am flying by myself with the 4 kids, will be interesting, but K and L are pretty independant now so it will be ok, and they have flown heaps now so the quite enjoy it.

So Home here we come.

D
ps no its not me in the photo its my sister, shes not my twin.....

wow, what a day

2010-06-06T21:55:00.002+12:00

we have had an amazing day for Miss N, we had her baptism this morning and she was just so great, we had heaps of friends and family here for it and I got through it.....

The service was lovely, she dipped her hand in the water/font thingy and had a play which was very cute, she didn't cry at all, and was lovely and smiley all morning, we then squeezed into our wee house for lunch etc, at one stage there were 42 of us here, including 8 children under 7 years of age, they were 6,5,4,3,2,2,1 and 6 months, plus 3 twelve year old boys, and some older teenagers, it was really neat.

We had lovely homemade pumpkin soup and a laksa style soup and french sticks for lunch, and most those over 16 had a nip of Glenfiddich to "wet" baby's head again. It was a pain that it rained most of the day as it has meant there are only one or two family photos and I would have loved to have gotten more, maybe I will get some tomorrow, I might just get us guys all dressed the same as today and take some of us all.

D

doing ok

2010-06-03T22:30:00.000+12:00

family members start arriving tomorrow for N's baptism on Sunday, its why I have been so stressed, but I think I am doing ok today, the house is looking fine, I mowed the lawns, there is baking in the fridge, and I have half made a top for me to wear. I am hoping to get the top finished in the morning before my parents arrive and we just have mr O's room to tidy. So hopefully we will be ok.

love D

nearly done

2010-06-02T21:12:00.000+12:00

with this blogging daily business, its been good, it has certainly helped me clear my head a few times which has been great, its helped me get back into the routine of posting and its made me think about a few things too. So over all even though I missed a couple of days due to a need to have a break I am quite pleased with my efforts.

love D

that wasnt much of a post

2010-06-01T22:38:00.000+12:00

but I just had to share how gorgeous miss N is... A friend took some gorgeous photos of her and mr O today, they are just lovely, and make me realise how blessed we are to have 4 amazing healthy children.

Its funny how people see different ones of our kids in each other.... there are expressions or looks that each of them has that is unique but they all have a oneness too, they have a look that unifies them as siblings, its very cool, and it amazes me at time how people comment that they look alike, but shouldnt they when they have the same parents? maybe its just me, but I kind of expect them to look similar in some way, it might be because my sister and I look similar or something. Anyway I have added a photo of my gorgeous youngest babies who look similar but unique and I am totally in love with them, over the weekend I will get some of my two big girls together too and of them all together. They are all amazing wee people and I am truely blessed to be part of their lives

cute.

2010-06-01T18:09:00.000+12:00

somehow this doesn't need words

stressed yet... yep totally

2010-05-31T20:45:00.000+12:00

I am feeling very stressed at the moment, we have wee N's baptism this weekend coming, so the pressure is on to make sure that everything is organised, the house is tidy, the kids clothes are organised, there is enough food, and then there are the relatives who are coming, its the first family event since Bens parents separated and we are not 100% sure how things will work.... so I am stressed about that too....

We have also organised a 30th birthday dinner for my sister this weekend too..... I am just over analysising everything, and I am sure it will be fine, but I tend to stress a lot when we have these sort of events in our lives. The actual baptism is sorted, its just the getting to Sunday that will stress me further, I might have to schedule some me time in the next couple of days so that I cope, to add to the anxiety our car needs registered and warranted tomorrow or Wednesday so that its legal to use... so more money to be spent.

mmm oh well, maybe I will just go to bed soon and it will feel better after some sleep.

love D

Hoping it doesnt rain

2010-05-30T12:49:00.001+12:00

We have had a couple of weeks of gross weather, the sort that makes getting washing dry outside pretty impossible, so I am fighting a pile of washing that is getting out of control, I have managed to get some out on the line today and am really hoping that it doesn't rain. We use to have a nice covered in area at our old house which meant I could hang out washing when ever I wanted but I do not have that here.... I am contemplating building a covered in area so that we can get washing dry outside.

I am also contemplating buying a clothes dryer as our one died last year, its becoming a necessity with 6 of us in the family.

D

new look

2010-05-29T23:01:00.000+12:00

I have to admit that I read Widges blog today and shes updated her look.... so I decided that I was actually sick of my look too so here is my new look

brief hiatus from the pc

2010-05-29T10:04:00.000+12:00

I have had a two day self imposed hiatus from this computer/internet thing.... I just needed a small break and I am feeling much better for it. So back to the blogging etc,

I have made two slings this week which is great, one for a young mum here in town and one for the Lactation consultant at the hospital. I have also picked up my sewing machine from getting serviced and its just beautiful to sew with, it was strange I started sewing with it and immediately thought of Mum, it was really neat. The sewing machine is identical to Mums, so I was really comfortable with using it as I have used Mums many times.

D