out of the mouth of babes

we were talking this morning at breakfast about how tvnz/government was changing Kidzone tv into something aimed at teenagers.... Miss 7 brilliantly says.. they (the government) are like coyote, they just do something and don't think about it first" wow shes so awesome.....

They are rather addicted to watching Roadrunner and Tom and Jerry so see the consequences of not thinking.

I was just using facebook and Miss 7 noticed I have a green twibbon over my picture... whats that for Mama.... that's because the government is giving Kindy's less money and I don't like it.... miss 7 that's bad kindy is important.

I am proud that my kids are growing up with a social conscience and are aware of the world around them

its so quiet

school and kindy started back today.. and wow is it quiet here..... Bubs is sleeping, and the other three are at school and kindy. It was a good start, we managed to leave before 8:30am, and the girls are both happy to be back. Miss L has lots of friends in her class and so does Miss K. Mr O has started doing 2 mornings a week at kindy which is a change from the 3 afternoons, and his best friend started kindy this morning, it was so nice seeing them all so happy to see their friends.

I joke about living in middle class suburbia, but it does have some nice things that go with it... our children have nice friends, and we can walk them to school, its nice, its comfortable and I am beginning to think that actually its not that bad a place to be.

so my silent time is really weird though after having so much noise and chaos its kind of hard to know what to do next... I have cleaned the kitchen, moved the table so the high chair is in a better spot, and am just about to start on the lounge... wow this having one kid at home might be more productive than I thought.

date night

we have been having some issues with Miss K going to bed and staying there, we are not sure if its an attention seeking thing or if there is some reason that she wont talk to us about, so last weekend we instituted a tick chart... stay in bed 5 nights in a row and Mama will take you out for a fluffy as a reward.. well it did work, and last night her and I put on our nice dresses and went out for hot chocolates and ice cream..... it was really nice to have some one on one time with her and we were able to talk about some things which was great.

Miss L currently has a tick chart going too.. hers is to do with eating all her tea.... she often will eat 5 or 6 mouthfuls then say shes finished, so shes been making a real effort to eat all her tea, shes got her 5 ticks and I will plan something for her and I next week I think.

the problem though is that Miss K earned her 5 ticks then stopped staying in bed... so do we start the chart again? or does some other measure need to be taken?

D

can I have another weekend please

we have had a hugely busy weekend and I need another one so I can recover..... we have been to two birthday parties, a bastketball game, another friends for coffee, had an extra for the night, had one away for a night... and a teething baby.

Its been great though but I need a rest. I made a wee apron too for the birthday today so was sewing too, and trying to catch up on the washing too.  Oh well tomorrow is another day, so I will try to get stuff done that I have neglected today.

d

co sleeping

I somehow ended up being interviewed for the Herald on Sunday via email about co sleeping, it cam up on facebook through a group I belonged to that a journalist was wanting to talk to co sleeping parents about their experiences and the advice they had been given by midwives, Drs, nurses etc....o I talked via email to the journalist and I was quoted in the article.

I have co slept with all our babies, with K she was over 3 months I think before I did,  I was scared that she was so little and I found it difficult to sleep with her, my confidence as a mum has grown though and now most of the night little N sleeps with me, they have all slept in the daytime in their cot and from 1am most nights they sleep with us. I have read about the risks from co sleeping, and I decided that it works for us.... I am not suggesting thought that everyone should do it.

I did an informal poll of friends on facebook, some co sleep happily others didnt, it was discouraged when I was a baby and thats ok, we make choices from the information that we have available to us, and that was the gist of the article in the paper, that information is not being given to Mums about co sleeping, its benefits and its risks.

So readers what are your thoughts on this?

love D

I'm Back.....

sorry its been a busy week, and I have neglected my writing of posts.... I have had my sister here and its been so nice just hanging out together. I miss having her close, its 10 yers now since we last lived in the same place, ages really, and I miss doing ordinary things with her. I miss hanging out with my Mum and Dad too, but I am lucky as we are heading south fror the school holidays next month, yay 2 weeks in the South Island, my Granny is coming to visit us at Mum and Dads so she can see her great grandchildren and meet Miss N.

Its the longest that I have ever not gone south, it will have been a whole year, when we first shifted up here I would just go whenever I wanted too.. now its carefully planned to the cheapest flights and the easiest way to travel with children. I am flying by myself with the 4 kids, will be interesting, but K and L are pretty independant now so it will be ok, and they have flown heaps now so the quite enjoy it.

So Home here we come.

D
ps no its not me in the photo its my sister, shes not my twin..... 

wow, what a day

we have had an amazing day for Miss N, we had her baptism this morning and she was just so great, we had heaps of friends and family here for it and I got through it.....

The service was lovely, she dipped her hand in the water/font thingy and had a play which was very cute, she didn't cry at all, and was lovely and smiley all morning, we then squeezed into our wee house for lunch etc, at one stage there were 42 of us here, including 8 children under 7 years of age, they were 6,5,4,3,2,2,1 and 6 months, plus 3 twelve year old boys, and some older teenagers, it was really neat.

We had lovely homemade pumpkin soup and a laksa style soup and french sticks for lunch, and most those over 16 had a nip of Glenfiddich to "wet" baby's head again. It was a pain that it rained most of the day as it has meant there are only one or two family photos and I would have loved to have gotten more, maybe I will get some tomorrow, I might just get us guys all dressed the same as today and take some of  us all.

D

doing ok

family members start arriving tomorrow for N's baptism on Sunday, its why I have been so stressed, but I think I am doing ok today, the house is looking fine, I mowed the lawns, there is baking in the fridge, and I have half made a top for me to wear. I am hoping to get the top finished in the morning before my parents arrive and we just have mr O's room to tidy. So hopefully we will be ok.

love D

that wasnt much of a post

but I just had to share how gorgeous miss N is... A friend took some gorgeous photos of her and mr O today, they are just lovely, and make me realise how blessed we are to have 4 amazing healthy children.

Its funny how people see different ones of our kids in each other.... there are expressions or looks that each of them has that is unique but they all have a oneness too, they have a look that unifies them as siblings, its very cool, and it amazes me at time how people comment that they look alike, but shouldnt they when they have the same parents? maybe its just me, but I kind of expect them to look similar in some way, it might be because my sister and I look similar or something. Anyway I have added a photo of my gorgeous youngest babies who look similar but unique and I am totally in love with them, over the weekend I will get some of my two big girls together too and of them all together. They are all amazing wee people and I am truely blessed to be part of their lives

noise is making me insane

I don't know why but the noise of these kids is really getting to me, might be because its just me at home, but I think its because they are just being really really loud, and fighting with each other..... I was hoping for a slightly relaxing day getting stuff done around here instead I am playing constant referee amongst these kids or telling them to stop doing things etc.

We are going out tonight so I was hoping to get some time to do some work on myself... just basics like having a shower without being interrupted and making sure that my hair doesn't look like I have been dragged through a gorse bush backwards, instead I have to play referee. I still need to express some more milk too, have done around 100mls but I don't think that will be enough so after her next feed I will try to express some more for her as I don't want her to be hungry if she wakes while we are out.

D

12th Wedding Anniversary

We celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary yesterday, I am left wondering where all that time has gone, but its been an amazing time with many exciting journeys that we have taken together.

To celebrate we went and saw Avatar, and went out for dinner, it was great and we were child free, two awesome friends helped by looking after our babies for us.... it was very strange though not having bubs with me as I aren't apart from her very often.

Avatar was amazing, we didn't get to see it in 3d as thats only available in the main centres, but it was still awesome and I don't think I blinked the whole time, we went to Speights ale house for dinner which was very nice too.

I feel really lucky to have reached 12 years of marriage as we were quite young when we got married, but we have got here and I wonder what the next 12 years will bring, by then we will have nearly all teenage children in the house, K will have just finished high school and N will be 12. Its an exciting journey and one that I certainly don't want to miss.

D

Slack blogger

Sorry I haven't been blogging lately, I have been too tired and too busy, Its school holidays and having four kids takes up lots of time :) not that its a bad thing it just means that blogging isn't important at the moment.

N is 7 weeks now, she is just lovely, she smiles and is beginning to make neat noises other than crying, the girls are great with her, K even changes nappies which is very cool. O isn't so sure about her but calls her baby and gives her hugs and kisses.

Ben is spending a lot of time writing his PhD, I am over it at the moment and just want to see the damn thing finished, I am sure it will be worth it once its done but at the moment its just hard slog for him and tiring for both of us.

I have managed to start riding my bike again, I can do 5km in around 15 minutes which is good, I am wanting to get up to 20km to do the tour de manawatu later this year, The two big girls did their first triathlon of the season on Sunday, it was great, a friends 15 year old did it with L and I did it with K, I wasn't able to walk/run with her so I biked beside her instead (my hips are still too sore for walking far, biking is easier as its a lot lower impact)

My weight loss plan for the year is still happening, I haven't gained any extra which is good, just need to drink more water and keep up the exercise.

D

Happy New year..... 2010 is here

I can remember seeing in the start of the millennium with two of my fave fellas listening to Dave Dobbyn playing in Hagley park with heaps of other cantabs. It was awesome, we were seeing in the new millennium and it was going to be huge....

Well its now 10 years in and in that time I graduated from University, completed a graduate diploma in teaching and learning, shifted from Christchurch to Palmerston North, we bought our first house and most importantly we became parents to four fabulous children that bring us huge amounts of happiness. I have also had two serious bouts of depression the second one meant that I lived with our children in Oamaru with my parents for a year, and have recovered from both to be a productive member of my family again. We have been politically active in the Labour party, I have held a position on New Zealand Council of the party and Ben has been a very active member of the environmental policy committee.

Ben has started and nearly completed his PhD. Its taken over 5 years so far and hes hoping to be finished in February. Its going to be a stressful 9 weeks or so as hes only able to do it in his spare time.

I don't really know what the next ten years will bring, but by this time in 2020 we will have two teenage girls, our youngest child will be 10. I will hopefully be working again in some capacity as something, but at the moment I aren't really sure what. Its all an adventure just waiting for us really.

But at the moment I am thinking of what I want to achieve in 2010, my first goal is to maintain my mental health, I am doing ok, and I want to stay this way, I also want to improve my physical health, I am many kg overweight and I plan to lose 10kg of that this year, its not a huge goal but will take me some time and dedication to do it. I want to be able to keep up better with the children too, so I am hoping to increase my fitness. I want to sew more clothes for the kids, and I want to continue breastfeeding N till she turns 1 at least.

Miss L will start school this year and O will start afternoon kindy too. I would like to get our living room wallpapered and maybe do up one of the children's rooms or the kitchen.

I aren't sure that I will be politically active, but then it depends on if a decent left wing candidate goes for the mayoralty, then I may do something, I still want to do triathlons, and want to be able to run a bit further than I currently am able.

Overall I am hoping that 2010 is a good year for my family and friends and that we all enjoy some success at whatever our goals are.

D

decision made

I came up with a compromise on Tuesday, miss K and I will go with my Midwife to have a look around delivery suite next week so she knows where Ben and I will be, we can show her things and let her see for herself that we are going to be ok.

I have decided that as much as I love her and think she could handle it that I dont want her to see me in that position so she can stay home and come up as soon as bubs is born. Ben has decided that he is going to deliver the baby with some guidance from our midwife so neither of us would be able to give her support either so to me its best that she stays at home.

I am excited that Ben wants to be so involved this time, it was hard to get him to even cut the cord with K, so its really neat that he wants to help birth this baby. We got to play with a plastic pelvis and a baby doll to see how it will all work etc.

Bubs is still sitting really low, my hips are getting worse and I have insomnia as well which isnt helping... we had our midwife visit yesterday and we are now down to weekly ones until bubs is born which is very cool. its only 26 sleeps now till due date, and we are hoping that we dont get there, my midwife said that the dates are a week out anyway so it hopefully wont happen. D

feeling tired

tonight I feel knackered, I am so tired, I had a good sleep last night but I just feel worn out this evening. I have had a busy last two days though so maybe some of it is just that I have done a bit more than normal.

Today I took Miss L out to get her kindy and good sandals for summer, we also went to a cafe for lunch and to visit her godmother, it was nice and I managed to do some of it without crutches, which was nice, made me feel good to be able to move without them.

I did the same yesterday with Miss K, but we went to BK for food, and to the Midwife as well, its been nice having that one on one time that I dont always get with my girls, its one of the downfalls I have found in having 3 children. I get lots of O time, but very little with K esp during term time, I might have to start making more of an effort, but we do go to girls brigade together which is her and my thing at the moment.

anyway feeling zapped, early night for me

due dates

Sometime lately it would have been my due date for the ectopic pregnancy that I had in February, it was kind of strange thinking about it, possibly because I hadn't know I was pregnant there was no emotional attachment to a possible due date.

Not like at the moment where I am counting down the days to my due date and beginning to think about getting ready for bubs arrival, things like packing our hospital bag, putting the clothes in the drawers, bringing the cradle inside.

September would have been the month for doing this if the ectopic pregnancy had occurred in the right place, I have wondered a bit about it, would the pregnancy have been easy, would the smaller gap been ok, all sorts of thoughts really about what might have been if the circumstances had been different,

Instead I am thinking about things for this wee bubba who is due in around 8 weeks, wondering if its a boy or girl, hoping that my hips don't get too much worse, thinking about names, birth plans, breastfeeding etc.

I am also thinking about the fact that this is the last pregnancy that I will carry, I am 32 now, I don't want to be having anymore children, and 34/35 yrs of age had always been my cut off point.

I will miss the growing bump of pregnancy, the first kicks, the tummy rolls from movement, the excitement of a new child but I also know that my body isn't up to another go at this, we will outgrow our wee house if we had more, and probably outgrow our income too.... yep this is it, four is enough.

I wonder how my Grandma coped having 8 children, it must have been hard and she didn't have things like microwaves, automatic washing machines etc. I also wonder how her body coped, she was 40 when she had her last child, so she spent over 16 years of her life being pregnant or breastfeeding which must have taken its toll..... my midwife tells me that bubs has lots of room because everything is stretched from the previous babies and that's a factor in it being a good size, I wonder how Grandmas was by the time she was having number 8.

Anyway, this baby I carry is making me very sore tonight, it seems to have changed where its laying so its off to bed for me.

D

Monday monday

I don't know if I actually like Mondays at all, but today has been ok, I managed to get washing out which was good, without too much pain either, I haven't done much else today though, have been trolling the net looking for boy names that would work for this baby, We are both really struggling to come up with a name that we both like and that works with the ones we already have.

Speaking of bubs its moved around again and seems to be laying on my right side instead, I find the nights that it does a big move around are the nights that I have a really bad nights sleep.

Tomorrow is 10 wks till due date, seems a bit scary when I write it down like that, the last quarter of my last pregnancy, by the time bubs is born I will have spent over 126 wks of my life pregnant, (2 years and 4 or 5 months), and if I feed it till over 12 months I will have spent 4 years breastfeeding, I have spent every birthday of mine since 2003 either breastfeeding or pregnant which is strange, but it will be kind of strange not ever having another baby too in some ways, we have always just seen how we go with each one before deciding on having another baby, this time though we are very definite that this is it for us.

Miss K is really cool about "cheeky monkey" as she calls it, she will come and place her hand on my tummy to feel it moving, and she talks to it, tells it whats shes up to or just calls it cheeky monkey.... Mr O has started calling my tummy baby, not that he really knows, but its cute, Miss L is a bit hit and miss with her interest, I think she will be best though when its born, shes more patient than her two siblings.

I can hear the three of them playing outside at the moment, I have to get the washing in so might go and play with them a bit too.....

D

ps... have just gotten all the washing in, and tea in the oven, not bad for only 5pm, maybe Mondays aren't so bad :)

am I all that stay at home?

A post at The hand Mirror got me thinking about whether there is a better term for parents who are at home raising the children, homemaker isn't that appealing, at home mum is ok, stay at home implies that I actually get to stay at home and not be a taxi for everything, home exec just sounds weird.

It is a strange thing really, I don't know how my Mum classified herself when she was raising my sister and I, but I cant see her being happy being a "housewife" either.

I wonder how my Grandma saw herself, I don't know what labels were used but I am sure she saw herself as a mother/mum first and the household chores bit came second. and where did the term housewife even come from?

I can understand the "wife" bit of it, and the house bit, but it seems a bit degrading of the actual position that it entails. On any given day as a Mum who isn't in paid employment, I make breakfasts, lunches, snacks, dinner, taxi children to school and kindy, do washing etc, housework, blog, put smallest child down for nap, organise my time so that all three children are getting what they need at any given time.... sometimes I get to do sewing, and this week coming I will spend time running around banks trying to get a mortgage while its school holidays so will need to entertain three children all day too....

When written down it all seems rather busy and at times productive, yet some days I get to bed time and wonder if I actually achieved anything at all.... and sometimes the what I have achieved is keeping three little people happy, and everything else has gotten pushed aside.

Parenting is a hard job, its rewarding though and I am lucky to be able to choose to be parenting from home and not from work. D

randomness of morning sickness

its nearly 11pm and I am feeling utterly foul, so I just made some vegemite on toast to sort the problem out, the other night at 3am it was peanut butter sandwiches, I get hungry and sick at the same time and eating toast seems to be a good way to sort it out....

Morning sickness is such a stupid name for it really, ok I do feel sick most mornings, but also at teatime, at night time or when I open the fridge to get the milk out time.... its stupid and so frustrating when it hits. I am lucky though, a friend who is 8 weeks a head of me has hypermeisis so has been unable to eat much for the last two months, so I should stop complaining and its not like I haven"t done this 3 times already so really I do know how to stop feeling worse etc, but its seeming harder this time, possibly because I am already tired from having three kids.

In other interesting developments, Miss K has gone to Auckland for the weekend, its very exciting for her and shes gone with her Grosspapa and Uncle to stay at her Aunty's with her fave cousin. L was devastated that K went away, but its great for her to have a safe adventure with family and to spread her wings a wee bit. Its odd though for us, as we have only had 2 or 3 nights without her since she was born. Its strange how little time that they havent been with one or the other of us since we had them, for K and L it would be around a week all up, O has yet to spend a night without Ben or I around.

brrrrrr.......

It is so cold today, the cold weather started yesterday, I hate feeling cold, so Ben got the fire going for me today, its cloudy and dark and I just want to go back to bed and have a snooze. O is having his sleep and L is watching a dvd, shes a creature of habit, she likes to have quiet time in the mornings by watching a dvd and drinking milo.

We are still waiting to hear back about the house. Fingers crossed, Am thinking at the moment that a couple of heat pumps might be the most efficicent way of heating the new house, it also needs insulated better and some paint etc. We have worked out that we will be able to convert the garage into 2 bedrooms for the girls, so it will go from being 3 bedrooms, 1 living, to 4 bedrooms and 2 living areas which is going to be quite good.

We are looking after a friends wee boy on saturday night, hes going to stay with us which will be quite cool... will get an idea of what having 4 children will be like, hes the same age as O. Am planning the easter hunt, have to get eggs once kids are settled after tea.

A very close friend of ours sent us a suprise email the other night saying that after 6 months without his partner that they have decided they still love each other and have gotten engaged. I am so happy for them, its great to see love triumphing over things, and its so neat that he is happy again. They got engaged on our date too so it must mean something great for their future together.

D