3 weeks post surgery

This post maybe too much information so I warn you now that its not for the squeamish.

I had my hysterectomy and anterior vaginal repair on the 31st of August, pre Op etc went well and I met the surgeon doing it a few days beforehand which was great as it wasn't the specialist that I had been seeing privately. Before the surgery I talked to the anesthetist who gave me a couple of options re pain relief and if I wanted to have a spinal block and be awake, have a general anaesthetic or have both which would mean less morphine and less pain, Ben and I decided on doing both as morphine makes my blood pressure drop too much.

I have never had a spinal before so that was a new experience but the sedative they gave me to relax means I didn't feel it going in and all I can remember is being told to lay down... next thing I remember is waking up in recovery and seeing Ben and being really dopey.

Most of it went well, but it took longer than it should have due to a few wee complications like them nicking my bowel and me bleeding too much and losing a borderline amount of blood. Apparently younger women bleed more during hysterectomies due to more blood vessels etc.

Recovery was pretty good except my bladder decided to not work properly which meant I came home on the Monday with a catheter still in, this was because I couldn't pee enough, I have read that that was a common side effect though. I got it removed the following Monday after spending the morning at the hospital getting pee measured and having a bladder scan to prove everything was working well.

Day 4 or 5 I got a chest infection which meant I felt even more like crap than I had been, thankfully my Mum and Ben looked after me so I didn't end up back in hospital with dehydration, at that stage I was taking 3 antibiotics which were making me vomit and feel really ill.

Its 3 weeks tomorrow and I have driven once very gingerly but wont be in a hurry to try again as reversing the car was pretty difficult. I still have very little energy and find I go to bed early or have a nap most days. The lack of energy has been hard to deal with as I am use to being able to just do stuff. I am not allowed to lift anything heavier than 3kg for another 3 weeks yet and no biking till then either.

So far everything seems to be going fine bar the chest infection and the UTI I currently have, I have to remind myself not to expect too much and that the pain will reduce and to take life easy as it was a pretty big operation. I am not too bothered that I cant have anymore children, the four I have was always going to be enough for me and there was no way I could have carried another child as my hips are still causing problems from having the youngest two.

I am hoping the next few weeks go ok, the remembering not to lift kids/stuff is pretty hard and only being able to walk the trip to school once a day is hard, thankfully Ben has been able to do the morning school/kindy drop off which means I only do one trip. We have had a bit of help from friends too in this department and people from the church where Miss N goes to music dropped off meals and baking which was hugely appreciated. Mum stayed for a week too which was great as it was the week Ben had to go back to work so I wasn't alone in the daytime.

Our big girls Miss K and Miss L have been really good too at helping me to do things and being patient when I say I need time etc because of pain issues. I have been so impressed at how mature they have been and how helpful too.

love D

date for change

fingers crossed on this but I have been told that my surgery will go ahead on the 31st of August providing the hospital isnt too full with sick people... yay,

Getting this date wasn't easy though, I rung the hospital last week to see where I was on the waiting list and was told that I wasn't, hmmm after the tears had settled I rung the specialist office that I had been seeing privately and they said they would see what they could do... on Thursday I got the call that I had been waiting for offering me surgery on 31st.

I talked to my specialist's receptionist/nurse this morning and she said that my Dr had done a clinical override so that I would be on the list, I was on the care and review list but the hospital doesn't tell the specialists that you are on that so as a patient you just assume that you are on the waiting list.

I am lucky, I have the ability to advocate for myself to get what I need, I do wonder though how many people are feeling let down by the system as they are not aware that they are not on lists. Or how many people feel they are constantly fighting to get the care they need, our health system is not perfect and I am not sure how to change things. The government claims that waiting lists are shorter but is this because people are not even being put on them?

So life will hopefully change for the better soon, I am pretty sure I wont miss having periods and the associated back pain and other issues I currently have, I am scared of this but its for the best.

love D

one year already

this time last year I was in hospital and they didnt know what was wrong with me, fast forward 12 months and we still arent really sure what is wrong. We have some pretty good ideas but we still are not certain that its all that is wrong.

I am on the waiting list to get a hysterectomy sometime in the next 6 months in the hope that that will solve the problems but.... and thats the biggie, is it really the problem, I have been using an app on my phone to chart my pain levels and unwellness and there is a definite pattern so hopefully we are on the right course to sovling it.

Fingers crossed.

D

ps Miss K and I have a pact to avoid if all possible the hospital this school holidays

end of fertility

I have been thinking about my gynae appointment next week and how if we book a surgery date I will have an exact end to my fertility, I will know exactly when my last period will be, its a bit strange really. normally the end of fertility is sometime around menopause and no one can pinpoint that exactly unless you are using blood tests to map hormone levels, yet I will know exactly when I wont be able to have children anymore.

In someways its exciting, no need to worry about taking the pill, using condoms etc, but the idea of surgery is scary, and the recovery time is daunting, I have never had non emergency surgery.

so this time next Tuesday I will know what we are doing, will know if the plan is for surgery or not, I am not hugely sad about not having a uterus anymore, I don't see it as a defining factor in my view of my own gender (others may disagree), and I have finished having children, maybe its because so many woman in my family have had this surgery, so it doesn't seem to have much stigma attached to it.

D

to keep my uterus or not....

after a few months of tests and being mucked around by the public gynaecology team we decided in January to go private to see a Gynaecologist and get his opinion on what was causing all my issues.

He was brilliant, treated me respectfully (which had been lacking from registrars at the hospital) and he discussed what he thought we should do to see if we could sort out my pain issues. The first step was removing the mirena I had for birth control, second was to trial 3 months of taking the pill. If the pill didn't help to control ovulation and bring some relief then when I next see him its to decide whether to do a hysterectomy or not......

I have done 2 months of the pill taking so far and its not done a lot, its more of a hassle really, so after much discussion with Ben, my Mum and my GP I have decided that I will go ahead and have the surgery. I figured that I am 35 in May, I have 4 children and no desire to have anymore, so its a redundant organ for me. My family has a long herstory of Gynae issues and I know that mine will just get worse.

Because we have the luxury of health insurance I am going to go private to get this done, to go public I would be waiting 12-18 months and I don't want to spend that long with decreased quality of life from the pain and having to take some pretty nasty pain killers. Its impacting on Ben and the kids and its been 9 months already why drag this out even further...

there are still a few what ifs about it all, but no surgery is guaranteed to solve all of the issues so we will just hope that this works.

love D

still not well

and I really am at a loss as to why. I spent last night in A&E again with abdominal and chest(lower) pain, they x rayed me and gave me painkillers, did blood tests and sent me home at 8am this morning with no answers at all to why its happening.

The closest clue we have is a small ovarian cyst on my right side, its about 3.8cm so not large by any standard but it is about the only thing that pinpoints any of my symptoms.

We are no further ahead with Miss K either, shes still got pain in her back, and has got clear blood and urine results, we are hoping that an ultrasound will help show whats going on, but its going to be 3-4 weeks at least before that happenes as shes not considered urgent to be seen.

We are just so over it all, even hubby is sick now with a sore throat, N has croup and O and L have colds. Yay that its school holidays for the next two weeks from Friday

neglected blog

we have just been through a hugely rough period of time, it started in May with my Grandmas diagnosis of Lung Cancer and has gotten progressively worse since then.

In mid May Miss K got chicken pox, 2 weeks later our other three children got them too... this was pretty rough but we got through it.

Grandma passed away on the 16th of June, we had known all week that things were getting worse, she had had a minor stroke and heart attack and we were told to prepared to travel to Invercargill. To add to this the volcanic ash cloud meant that flying was out of the question so we were faced with a long road trip with 4 children.

WE had a gorgeous send off for Grandma, she had a yellow coffin which made us smile, both my bigger girls spoke at her funeral as did my parents and sister and I. We had Grandma at home for the days before her funeral, it made things more natural for all of us. Our children were able to see her, talk about death etc in a natural way instead of via funeral directors etc.

The day after her funeral K got sick, with a kidney infection, we ended up spending 3 nights with her in Dunedin Hospital which was good but another stress at an already stressful time, Shes still getting a lot of pain and we are not sure now that its kidney related at all. I spent last night at A&E with her only to find all her results clear, just pain.
We got home late on Tuesday the 28th after a long trip from Oamaru to Palmerston North in one day. by Saturday night we were back at A&E, this time though with me sick, we thought I have appendicitis but we now are not sure at all whats going on. I only got home on Friday after  a week in hospital.

So that's our 6 weeks of nasty/sad/stressful times. I am so glad that we are over this and that I have an amazingly supportive husband and family

I am sick, and so not happy about it

I woke up yesterday morning feeling ok, Went to church parade for Girls brigade and by the time I got home was in lots of pain, spent the afternoon in bed, then text my MW who came and did a dipstick test... we are pretty sure I have a UTI, which is not at all what I need at the moment, I am drinking lots of water and have started antibiotics this morning.

WE also discussed my hip pain with her and shes willing to refer me to physio which will be great, the sooner we can get onto this the better really.

I have spent the morning sleeping and am still in my pj's Ben has stayed home to look after the kids etc.

Lets hope that I can get on top of this before too many days past as we are supposed to be shifting in the next couple of weeks.

damn nasty chest infection

I am crook as a dog at the moment, morning sickness combined with a chest infection is not doing me wonders. I know its worse because of the stress we are under at the moment with trying to buy a house and the stress just isnt getting any better.

I am actually going to head to the bathroom soon and run myself a lovely bath, light some nice scented candles and relax. I am also hoping that the steam will help clear my nose and chest a bit too... yay.

I find baths really relaxing, I would love to have a spa bath at some stage but its not going to happen anytime soon. Thats one of the reasons that I would love to have a water birth, the water is just so calming for me, just about like a meditative thing in some ways. So off I go to have my nice relax and time out. D

ps... I didnt have my bath, instead I sat in bed and watched "under the tuscan sun" with Ben which was really nice

nice weekend

We have had a really nice weekend, we watched soccer/football at the Ethkick tournament and Ben ended up playing two games, we went to a friends birthday bbq and farewell which was great and relaxing.

yesterday Ben and K did a triathlon, K rode her own bike to do it, 5km is pretty impressive for a 5 yr old. Ben took the kids to a german get together in the afternoon too so I had a nana nap which I enjoyed.

I watched tv last night too... damn addictive at times.

Anyway we had a lovely weekend, I now am sick though which is not nice, have slept most of the morning.

D

Mums sick again

I get worried about Mum a lot, her heart went into atrial fibrilation again today, to fix this they electric shcok her heart back into rythm, this can take them 3 goes to get it sorted, Its all a bit scary when you are hundreds of kms away.

Shes seen her specialist in Dunedin whos opinion is that we just keep doing this till it doesnt work then her heart will just stay in AF. Its worrying because we have always known that Mum probalby wont see old age, or these wee kids of our group up. She was born with heart problems, her parents were told she wouldnt see 5 years let alone 53 so each year we have her is a bonus, but its sad to acknowledge when shes not well that my kids probably wont have their grandma at their graduations etc like I did.

Facing up to the mortality of your parents isnt an easy thing to do, I suppose it is a part of life but we all like to think that our parents are going to live to a very old age,

I am grateful that I have my mum, but the selfish part of me doesnt want to face up to the fact that she may not be here at some stage.

sick again

Last night i started feeling sick, sore throat etc, today I have carried O around a bit more just to get used to it etc and my belly button started hurting too... so off to the drs I went this evening thinking that i was probably just being a hypochondriac..... but nope, i truelly and sick this time

the list goes something like this:
1. belly button laparoscopy incision infected
2. left ear infection
3. sinus infection
4. throat infection

so i arent a hypochondriac quite yet :) but I am sick for the 4 or 5th time this year which is not making me a happy camper at all.

its also not nice when you feel sad etc to feel sick too... i am struggling to cope with all of this on top of the ectopic pregnancy loss and the resultant ebb and flow of emotions that I am dealing with. I am also nauseaous as a result of the loss and have other pregnancy related problems but no pregnancy.... and no baby in 7 months and to tell the truth it bloody suxes.

I am so over it at the moment, its like i just want to put it in the too hard basket and just feel like Demelza for even half a day would be nice.... i am beginning to think i may have lost her at the moment, not much holds my attention either, I know enough though to realise that this pain will pass, the sickness will go and i can start enjoying life again. this is not depression this is part of the grief process that i will go through from having lost a pregnancy.

I know others who have also lost pregnancies/babies and my heart goes out to them because at some stage they too will have thought why me... why us... we didnt ask for this, especially when they get people telling them thoughtless things like "it wasnt meant to be". i havent had this yet, we know it wasnt meant to be, the embryo was in the wrong place and put my life at risk, but that doesnt stop me thinking that it was my baby and i wanted it.

so to all my fellow miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy survivors you are all amazing women who my heart goes out to that you have had to endure the pain that this loss causes.

D

I am sick... bad timing

I was up really early this morning to go campaigning but by 7:30am was heading back to bed with a sore tummy and back, after spending most the day in bed I went to drs and got some antibiotics etc....

I so dont need to be sick at the moment, i dont have time for this, why do we get sick at the worst moments lol... K is sick too, shes got a throat infection, but if shes not 100% its not a huge deal for her.

so am drinking lots and trying to rest and hopefully will be back to 100% very soon.